Recently in Progeny Category

Turkey Day for kmbrknit’s family was spent with SysGuy’s sister, Fleur, in Davis, CA. Its a 7 hour drive from chez kmbrknits (this state is too damn big). The Things are really good at entertaining themselves in the car, we’ve trained them to mostly read books and listen to audio plays that SysGuy has audiohijacked from the BBC Big Toe Radio Show (I told you he was awesome!). Here is Thing 1 rapidly draining the battery on my Touch while killing pygmies in PocketGod. Its digusting, but we treat them to it occasionally. You can see that Thing 2 amuses himself with suction darts. We’re a family of geniuses.

Davis is a nexus of animal husbandry and biology studies, what with the ginormous UC land grant school as the town anchor. Its also a ridiculously liberal and feel-goody town, so we like to visit. Fleur has provided the Things with 4 cousins (Fleurette, Biscuit, Myrtille and Bruyant) with her husband, DrÉnergie; a fluffy cat and a fluffy dog complete the family. They’re a lot to keep track of, I don’t know how she does it—just thinking about vacuuming after the fluffy pets exhausts me.

DrÉnergie has a veterinary pathology business, where your local veterinarian sends acky bits of sick pets for expert analysis under a microscope, and various research studies are conducted. He’s built his own lab, which is very, very cool. We managed to get a tour for the Things the day before Thanksgiving. Starting with the video microscope, where DrÉnergie has a collection of “kid friendly” slides of interesting things he’s found to look at (black widow egg sac, anyone?). This is a mosquito wing. It looks kind of like my legs in winter. Who knew they were so hairy? I reduced the size a little bit, and I’m sparing you their disgusting little feet.

Stop here and scroll directly to the bottom if you are squeamish, it gets grosser quickly.

Then was the really interesting part! First, DrÉnergie slapped some gloves on Thing 2, and before he knew it he was holding a diseased dog tail for all to see. You can see that Thing 2 is a bit happy but unsure about this. I have to admit, the tail was the grossest thing of all, be grateful it is blurry. And there was a lot more to come.

Next, there happened to be a recently amputated cat leg for analysis. Now, veterinarians don’t do this operation casually. While it is gross, the leg has a fast-growing cancer that was headed for the cat’s body, and cats can get by just fine on 3 legs. Anyway, out comes a ziplock bag with a cat leg in it, with which DrÉnergie shows the kids how muscles work and where the cancer is. Thing 1 gets to palpate the leg and feel the tumor (This is where Thing 2 bails.), then DrÉnergie shows us how he takes a sample and prepares a slide for later analysis. 

After the cat leg was safely put away, DrÉnergie fished a sheep’s heart out of a small bucket of other sheep bits that are part of a study at the lab. He showed the kids how it was insulated with fat, and ran water through it to show how it pumps. Then, in what was fascinating and gross, he dissected it for Thing 1 and Myrtille to see the different chambers. It was really neat. Meanwhile, in another room, Thing 2 was being entertained by a technician who was showing him slides of brain and kidney slices. (Its way less smelly outside the lab room, and slides are a less “immediate” reminder of where the tissue came from.)

Hmm. Can’t find my sheep picture. Will post later.

While the turkey was roasting on Thanksgiving day, DrÉnergie entertained us, and the neighborhood, with his collection of estes rockets. Many tiny parachute men were sent to the stratosphere about 200ft. It was really fun, the shooting off, and the watching the platoon of kids race to catch the spent rocket and parachute men.

Here is DrÉnergie getting a rocket ready with Thing 1, Fleurette and Myrtille.

This one is self-explanatory.

Fleurette and Myrtille readying the porta-potty rocket. : )

Happy, Lucky Things.

As if that weren’t enough excitement for one weekend, on Friday we took the Things to the Happiest Place on Earth: The Exploratorium in San Francisco. (I bet you’ve seen ads about another Happiest Place. Don’t believe everything you see on TV.) We spent basically the entire day doing the hands-on demonstrations of scads of scientific concepts. I don’t know about the Things, but I personally experienced sensory overload about 3 hours in. We’ll definitely be back!!

The things pedal-power a light bulb, among other choices of appliance.

SysGuy smoke ring generating with the Things and Myrtille.

Oh, yeah. On the way out of town we went across some old orange bridge.

And that, was that.

Well little bloggy, its been a while. Lets forget about summer and move on to recent bits. Most recently, my darling sister Cricket made me aware of impending They Might Be Giants concerts at venues in and near LA. TMBG recently released a cd/dvd combo of catchy songs about Science! that totally apply to our lives (and yours), and as a representative for both our families, I had to take the Things. It was, of course, awesome! Here are the dudes at their very first actual rock concert. Sadly, at grown-up rock concerts U2 and their ilk do not stay after and hand out sheets of stickers to the audience; I consider this a serious lack of customer service on their part.

This concert is important to the Things on several levels, not least of which is providing Thing 1 with a tune that explains the difference between a scientific theory and a stab-in-the-dark theory to sing to the crazy "christian" kid who forcibly evangelizes creationism on the playground. Good grief.
Science is Real.





Giving Props
I have to give a seriously respectful OMGUR AWESOME!!! to SysGuy for his amazing husbandy handyguy prowess during a particularly irksome 4 weeks of September/October. With the ominous high-pitched whine emitted by our hideously expensive 8-year-old dishwasher—the harbinger of incipient motor axle disintegration—SysGuy's odyssey of home repair began. My intrepid SysGuy disassembled the beast, found the offending problem and promptly hied us off to our local Pacific Sales Showroom of Newer Hideously Expensive Dishwashers. We were informed by our salesperson that one could expect a lifetime of roughly 8-10 years for a dishwasher, we think he was parroting Consumer Reports. Balking at the investment, and finding the lifetime expectancy objectionable, SysGuy found another motor that would work and installed it. Meanwhile, the Things got to learn all about getting to wash the dishes for reals.

While this was happening, the ice maker in our marital freezer was completing what had been a slow demise. Perhaps for normal people, this might not be a big deal. I, however, am an ice addict. I come from a line of ice addicts. The ice machine, it is an instrumental marital aid at our house, not merely an appliance. Without the ice machine, many many, many, words are spoken, bickering about who used the last ice. Much research is done on the optimization of ice tray release; we have a critical issue with mineral deposits. No, vinegar has not worked, thanks. It is not a good situation. SysGuy swiftly disassembled the beast, attempted a fix, and reinstalled. Sadly, we woke up to Lake Inferior the next morning, though mildly grateful that it had somehow not overflowed the ice bin to the bottom of the freezer overnight. Thus began the researching a new ice machine, post haste. Its cheaper than couples therapy.

That same weekend, our blighted main sewer line, ancient, porous, ceramic, directly beneath a hungry hungry elm tree, decided to act up. Fortunately, I can fix this myself. I call a man who comes and deals with it. While it was annoying to have this problem on a weekend, we are counting our lucky stars that it didn't happen the weekend the Grandparents were visiting.

During the wait for ice machine delivery, SysGuy happened to check on "stuff" out by the pool pump. In the process of checking on "stuff," the big, pressurized, pool filter tank decided now was a good time to twist off its (pre-us) precarious perch, thereby destroying ALL of the PVC piping in the general vicinity. Thus ensued the great Pool Pump Pipe Redesign and Build of 2009, wherin SysGuy had the opportunity to remove the 35 extraneous 90° bends that have been inserted into the system by inept hirelings over the years decades. This took 4 evenings. In the dark. With a big spotlight.

Just after the Pool Pump Pipe Redesign and Build of 2009, the computer SysGuy built for me for Xmas a few years ago, which houses our custom DVR, had a hard drive FAIL. Apocolypse. In addition to recording tv stuff, so we never have to see another commercial ever again, the drive housed many movies ripped from public library dvds (hey, its legal if you don't show them for profit). Ma and Pa Kettle. The Three Stooges. An Affair to Remember. Important things to have on hand. Frantic research of an appropriate replacement drive ensued. Desperate attempts to retrieve data were performed (mostly) successfully. Re-installation of the apparently ginormous pain the the ass DVR software happened. Several times.

Then the new ice machine arrived.

This is the Real Prince Charming. He does not arrive in a carriage with diamonds in hand; he comes with majah skillz, and a never-ending trough of the important kind of ice.

He's my hero.
 

This weekend was the debut of Thing 2 showing an interest in making Sunday breakfast. If we play our cards right, in another year or so we won’t have to cook any breakfasts ever!! Thing 1 will occasionally rise early enough to make himself (and sometimes his brother) eggs and toast, wash the pan and empty the dishwasher. Its incredible, I know! He still forgets to wear socks, change his underwear, or do his homework though, so its not like our work here is done.

Here is Thing 2 in action Sunday (dig the bedhead):

In other news, I did get some knitting done recently, and start new bits. I finally finished the last of the spec scarves, which I won’t show because I am sick to death of them. Currently I have just finished a frothy scarf in some leftover blue kidsilk haze I had lying around. It was a diversion from the other.

On the needles I’ve got a quick White Lies design freebie, the Shapely Tee, in Plymouth royal bamboo (smaller swatch). Its lovely to knit, I’m hoping it will breathe well when I visit humidity this summer—its my first bamboo object. I picked it up at a steal at the crack shack Wondermom uses for quilting bits in IL. The brown/blue swatch is for a cover on a couple of kitchen chairs. Its Patons poodle, which I bought because I lost my mind for the colors in spite of the fact that it has the texture of a 70‘s toilet seat cover. It’s kitschy, but it will still keep my butt from sticking to the chair this summer, which is all I require of it. The Pooch felts a bit, with trace quantities of wool in the blend, so its nice and cushy.

I’m finally starting on the giant bird of paradise trim. I had to start the cuts with a hand saw, which was slow going. Once I had an in though, I used the electric sword trimmer, and that made relatively quick work of giving the thing a haircut. I assigned the Things to putting the fronds into the greenwaste bin. You may not know this, but that is exactly like being asked to dig a quarry. Just ask them.

While they were (nominally) picking things up, I took a pick axe to the root skirt. Yow, that is some serious work, that I am going to be doing in tiny baby steps. Jeepers that stuff is tough!! Sysguy thinks I can forgo that part, but I know that if I don’t dig up the corms on the outside, in about three weeks there will be new fronds shooting up from them, mostly beheaded ones, too, because they were in transit when I did the cutting. So the thing will come back faster, and look like merde while its doing it. This way, the bush will stay trim and narrow for at least a year or so. I like to think doing this myself is cheaper than the gym.

This is me doing some hand trimming:

Here is Sysguy trying to cajole the Things along. Notice it is much later in the day. There was a lot of goldbricking going on:

In the school’s ceaseless charge to make my life difficult, because the constant barrage of pointless pieces of paper that need my signature is not enough, its Crazy Hair & Hat Day!!!!!!

The Things and I went out and got some supplies for the event. We don’t have crazy hats, and I really don't feel like throwing some together. (As mentioned previously, I loathe arts and crafts with the children, because I’m a bad mom.) You can see the results for yourself. I’m starting to worry Thing 2 is going to be a handful: Tell me what you think....

Thing 1, who is in 4th grade and starting that pre-teen thing, took the safe route with extreme bed-head and a disinclination to have his picture taken. Thing 2 wanted to be...sonic the hedgehog? Points for panache, dude. Not thrilled by the demeanor of your stance, however.

O. My. God. The face.

For someone who makes perfect fluffy bunny pancakes, Sysguy is awfully adverse to having his picture taken.

In true atheist fashion, we’re celebrating the arrival of spring with the time honored egg hunt and candy freakout. The Things enjoyed themselves immensely, starting at oh’dark-thirty, and were quite pleased with their stuffed plushy chocolate-colored bunnies. Their parents got stuck buying chocolate bunnies from the school. The Easter bunny is feeling clever for finding the stuffed ones.

It’s nice to wrap up spring break with a holiday, it puts a big fat bow on what has been a lovely week.

Joshua Tree

Here are the Things, indulging in some aprés camp set-up rough housing. Sigh. The first of several days of this sort of thing. I was basically insane by the time we drove home. The campground (Black Rock) was lovely. We got a spot directly across from the bathrooms, which is handy when you have members of your party who like to wait till they’re dancing before taking care of business. Ahem.

The Joshua trees are very interesting looking, and in some places there are so many of them it really is a Dr. Seuss forest. Just without much else in the way of obvious life.

There were lizards and interesting birds, and we had a rather large visitor swing by several times throughout our stay: This ginormous Beetle!

Fortunately, he was pretty easygoing, except for the ghastly stink cloud he loosed whenever we got too friendly. We spent a fair amount of time watching him negotiate the gravel to go to and fro. His locomotion was comical.

We went for a couple of trail hikes near the campground, where the things found a foothill with a big rock on top that they needed to conquer. So they did. I have photos of them at the top, but they didn’t include the whole hill, and I wanted you to get the full effect. It was a windy day, so I didn’t let them actually stand on the top rock; I can live without hefting a kid with a broken leg down that hill.

On the second day, we drove to the federal part of the park to visit the Joshua Tree Reserve proper, which was a really surreal landscape of Joshua tree forest as far as you could see. I forgot to take a picture of that. Oops.

After a while, you come to the main attraction of the area for a lot of people—the giant rocks. This area is a locus of all manner of rock climbing, apparently. We’re not actually hip enough to know that, so, whatever. Here is a photo of the Things in a vast field of boulders. Just for relative size. Can you see them? They’re the teensy bits right of the middle. Look for the red pants.

There was a ranger tour of an area that had an easily approachable arch rock, so we went on that. Thing 2 did himself proud regaling the group with his knowledge of various rock types. Not sure that’s entirely a good thing in the knowitall department, but the ranger didn’t seem to mind. Then the Things spent a couple of hours scrambling around on the rocks.

The ranger explained that the giant rocks are igneous rocks pushed up into the metamorphic rock (called pica nice) that was above it (yeah, who knew). So the surrounding hillsides were made of this pica nice, and the whole area used to be covered with them, but erosion has made them disappear, and what we’re left with are these big igneous boulders that had pushed up below it. And the rock climbers of the world rejoiced. The pica nice is still disappearing, too. Yay! More boulders coming soon!
You know, in a couple hundred thousand years or so.

And then...The third day of our trip we drove down to Palm Springs and took the Arial Tramway up to the top of Mt. San Jacinto. It was fabulous! The trams hold about 30 or so people; they are circular, and the floor rotated at a clip the whooooooolllle way up the mountain, pausing during the stomach-dropping “whooop.....de dos” over each cable tower. The side of the mountain appears to be entirely composed of deep, scary, impossibly pointy, crags. 

Up at the top, we had a mediocre expensive lunch (I recommend bringing a basket if you go.) and took a long hike. It was about 36° on top of the mountain, which the Things are totally not used to. I did tell them to wear warm clothes, but would they listen? Nope. I could have made them change, but why blow a good learning experience? 

There was a fair amount of old icy snow in all the shady nooks and crannies, and our snow-deprived Things attempted to dig sticks into each and every one of them. It was hilarious. We really should visit Winter one of these days. We walked around for a couple of hours, moving and sunshine made the chill much less noticeable.

Look! Snow!

More Snow!!

More More Snow!!! Its amazing.

Lastly...We went horseback riding at a small working ranch in Yucca Valley. Thing 2 got the most ginormous horse, Ed, because that was the gentlest, Thing 1 got the most experienced trail horse, KC, and I got the ex-show jumper, Fling. On the way out of the paddock, Thing 2 exclaimed “I hate horseback riding!” On the way back into the paddock, he was heard from again, “I love horseback riding!” Kids are so predictable.

Thing 2 had a heck of a time keeping that big horse from eating his way down the trail. His arms aren’t really long enough to yank the reins up and get the horse’s attention, he’s not big enough to really jam his heels in very hard; Ed knew damn well there was practically no weight up there, so no worries. Eventually, the guide asked me to move my horse right up into Ed’s backside. Then my horse bit him. This was apparently the intent. It got Ed’s attention, but didn’t really seem to bother him, other then getting him to move along. Thing 1 had the perfect trail horse, nice and steady. Fling tried to fling me once, and was clearly disdainful of my horsemanship.
Probably rightly so.

Then, we went home sweet home. With the comfy chairs and tall ceilings. Ahhh.

All in all it was a delightful if exhausting (for me) trip. We’re home, the laundry is done and school is back in session. Whew.

Well, Thing 2 had a bit of a day today. Some kids march to a different drummer. Thing 2, in all his titian glory, has a syncopated orchestral percussion section devoted just to him.

Mostly, this is amusing and sweet. The overly loud resonant voice, the goofy faces and idiosyncratic mannerisms, the inability to walk in a straight line, or even consistently forward for long (think Billy from Family Circle). We're at a nice school—public even—where kids are very sweet to him in spite of the fact that in second grade he still bursts into tears at the slightest disappointment. For instance, when other kids change the imaginary game in a way that he doesn't like, or his teacher takes away the book he's surreptitiously reading during class time...but he makes up for it by being a soft-hearted and thoughtful little hug-bunny. Also, he's hilarious.

As a parent employed at the school, I happened to wander into the cafeteria for iced tea in time to see Thing 2 go through the lunch checkout. (I forgot some supplies, so he was breathlessly anticipating the holy grail of school lunches: Uncrustables and chocolate milk.) So cute. As got my iced tea, his li'l posse swarmed me "Mrs H! Did you know that there is a bad finger?! I didn't know before, but now I know!! What does the finger mean? Can you do it?" Yeek! Not my kids, so I'm not telling. I passed a message on that their teacher might want to gloss over this subject after lunch.

About ten minutes later, the teacher comes into the library, where I lunch in peace with the librarian. Oh my. Turns out, the issue had already been addressed before my arrival, given that Thing 2 was apparently flying the bird high and proud in the cafeteria line while asking the other kids if "it was the right way." Naturally, they all pointed to him and shouted "look!". He's so clueless, honestly.

His teacher, a darling East Indian lady, with a darling East Indian accent laughs at me "It was your kid! What do you teach him at home anyway?" (Imagine Apu saying this. Its funny.) She said that she told Thing 2 it was "a very impolite and rude gesture", and that "he must not do it again" (again, accent.) Then she told me that she had been in the US for several years before she even knew what it meant, "how do the kids pick this up anyway?"

After school, I asked Thing 2 about the incident with the teacher (which went strangely unmentioned before, he's clueless, but not stupid). He said that if he does it again, he has to go see the principal. He seemed a little worried, like maybe it was going to happen spontaneously. Which, knowing him, is actually possible.

Honestly, I have no one idea where he got this.
I just curse, I don't use gestures, they're too imprecise.

The first day of school has come and gone, and boy was it a doozie. The Things tripped off to their new classes, seemingly unphased. I tried not to be the sobby mom as I walked to school behind Thing 1, who was being cajoled to stop dawdling on the way to kindergarten about two weeks ago, in my head. This year he's in 4th grade, and prefers to walk ahead of me—and Thing 2, who is a professional dawdler, still, in 2nd grade. I do miss the fat snuggly babies.

I started work on the first day, too. I work Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, so it was a short week for me. Just long enough to find out that the teachers had somehow talked the new principal into the idea that I can get the lab up and running with new software and server in 3 workdays (usually I get 9. 6 is barely feasible.). They are so cute. Not going to happen, but cute.

After school, we three came home, had a celebratory bowl of homemade ice cream, kicked back and talked about the day. Then it was time for violin lessons. Sigh.

Thing 2 was, shall we say, less than compliant, in the paying attention following instruction department. His lesson was cut short, which is dissapointing, but means more time for me. Yay! Normally, Thing 1 is pretty good at sitting quietly during our lessons, but today, he was completely undone once Thing 2 was set free during my lesson. This particular lesson was a regular brawl between the two of them. The frequent interruptions to stop them batting at each other were preferable to the having to stop them crawling under the chairs/running on top of them that happened next. Did I mention the greco-roman wrestling that happened at the end? (Apologies to the next student, who had to walk over them.)
I was so proud. I swear, the ice cream had all of 4 non-toxic ingredients, I don't know where this came from.

I think I did pretty well keeping my cool, considering the fact that in my hand was the functional equivalent of the kind of hickory switch employed on the backsides of previous generations in these situations. My bow is carbon-fiber, it won't mind...I just made them walk home. Stupid new-age parenting guilt.

A bit of batting back and forth is normal for them, albeit annoying. This level of disruption is not. Also, totally unacceptable. They're getting good at writing apologies, right now. Next time: ebay.

We've spent the last couple of days doing...stuff. I caught up on my sitting around, did some sewing, stuff on the computer, laundry. Domestic crap. The Things got caught up on their whining about being bored, I used the opportunity to lock them out of the house. They can be just as bored outside, where its less annoying to me. Eventually, they even noticed the various toy-like objects distributed throughout the yard. T-minus 8 days till school starts.

I've been listening to the democratic convention. Its kind of exciting, up there with the one where Bill Clinton was nominated the first time. Sadly, Hillary seems to be kind of a spoil sport. I'm not sure if its her exactly, or its just her hangers on. The local pbs/npr station I listen to, KPCC, has had some call-in shows on the subject. Man, there are some really screwy Hillary supporters. Well, apparently, McCain supporters now. That's taking irked a little far, but, whatever. Its your vote. (Thank dog you only get one.)

The thing none of the Hillary Lovin' Irate Obama Haters seemed to notice was that her campaign staff was plagued by internecine warfare; she barely had her own people under control—which may very well have made her campaign less effective generally. I'd prefer not to take that managerial style to the international stage, thank you. I think she's a fabulous Senator, however.

Another point that was made by some of the callers was that the primaries were tweaked just so by Howard Dean and Nancy Pelosi to favor Obama. I suppose...but I don't think so. I expect different types of primaries were more or less receptive to all the candidates styles, it seems like it evens out overall.

The callers really seemed to think the cards were stacked against Hillary. The attitude that she was somehow "owed" this nomination really bothers me. How smug. I think she was treated pretty fairly as a contender. Certainly not any worse than some other presidential aspirants have been. If you want to be treated as an equal, you have to accept success or failure as an equal. Looking for prejudice in every nuance is a waste of time.

I sure hope she manages to turn her people on to Obama. It would be a shame for the country to miss out on this fellow.

Oh. I took the Things to Raging Waters water park today. It didn't suck!! It was almost as expensive as Disneyland, but with water. We spent the whole day running around barefoot in swimsuits with the hoi polloi. Nobody got sunburnt (I learn!). We had a blast.
No photos.

After a long hiatus, I came across this article and I just had to throw in my two cents. WE NEED TO SEND THIS WOMAN A GIFT. She is brilliant, and I totally agree with her.

As someone who has been on the receiving end of incredulous looks when local parents find out that "those two boys" walking to school in the morning (dios mio!) are mine. Um, yeah. Their school isn't any farther than mine was, lo these 40 years ago, and I walked. In the midwest. In a short skirt and frilly socks with mary janes. In the winter. (Backwards and uphill each way, naturally. That's how we did it back then, and we liked it that way.)

I'm really tired of kids not being allowed to test their independence, its making them indecisive lumps with no trust in their own ability to take care of themselves. Kudos to the moms that allow their kids to roam the neighborhood. The ones that make them take the city bus to Jr. High, and ride the subway. Well done, ladies!! The scariest thing my kids are likely run into is ME (after I caught them jaywalking).

An embarrassing illustration of how the constant media churn of the same damn scary stories have scared us into limiting our kids over the generations: Looks like great-grandpa had fun and the rest of us have been progressively more screwed.

Thing 1, junior surfer dude, is all excited by the 70+ degree weather we're having this weekend. Yesterday, after school, the things where whinging about how hooooot it was and can they go swiiiiiiimmmmminnnng?
Well, sure, if you really want to....

So today, February 9th 2008, at 12:45pm, Thing 1 jumped into the ce-ment pond, fulling believing it was going to be GREAT! despite our warnings that it might be, well, chilly. It was a beautiful exhibit of enthusiasm over common sense. He's so sweet.